How to build Self confidence - increase self esteem and self worth

What is Self-confidence or self esteem?

Self-confidence is the positive attitude about self and our abilities. It enables us to face life with all its surprises and handle them well. Self confidence comes from having control over self, our thoughts and our lives. Self-confidence influences us to plan and achieve our goals despite obstacles, without fear of failure. Even though some of our goals may not have been achieved, we continue to be positive, and look forward to other opportunities as we believe in ourselves. It also influences the way in which others perceive us and react to us.

Self-confidence is related to the word ‘self esteem’ or 'self worth' widely used in psychology. Self-confidence means that one is confident about oneself. The word confidence comes from the word fid which in Latin meaning faith; simply put, it would mean having faith in one’s self, or believing in one’s own ability to accomplish things. Self-confidence is the sum total of our self worth. The way we think and feel about ourselves, our abilities, our achievements, our appearance, our social standing, how we think others view us, all add up to our level of self-confidence.

Qualities of a self confident person

It is easy to recognize a self confident person - they will look right into your eyes, smile, they are easy to be with, they handle conflict, take criticism and negative pressure in their stride, they are emotionally well balanced. The dictionary meaning of the word introduces one more dimension to self-confidence. In addition to belief in yourself and your abilities, it adds ‘does not doubt self’. This is a very important characteristic of self-confidence, a person who does not doubt himself.

Self confidence is an attitude

Self-confidence or self esteem is the product of our perception and interaction with people, our perception of circumstances, of how others view us and how we value or esteem ourselves. This is an attitude which develops pretty early in life and by the time we are in our twenties our basic beliefs and attitudes are fairly set but not always fixed. It may sometimes be colored by gender, social class or major life events like loss of parent/s early on in life etc. It is a learned behavior, learned through experience and interaction with people and situations. Therefore, the good news is that any thing that is learned can be unlearned. This means that lack of self-confidence can be addressed.

Tips to build your self-confidence or self esteem or self worth

Accept and love yourself. It is the first step in developing self-confidence. Unless a person understands his/her strengths and weaknesses and accept him / her for who he / she is, it would be unrealistic to expect others to love them.

Alter your judgment of yourself. Remember no one is perfect.

The greatest invention or discoveries have often come from mistakes. Learn from your mistakes.

Focus on your positives; reaffirm yourself of your strengths. This is called power affirmation or positive affirmations.

Counter negative thinking. This is the most important key to building self confidence.

Grooming and dressing well is very important. Take care of your appearance, others observe this first and form impressions about you.

Carry your self tall and erect, make sure your body language does not speak ill of you.

Look at yourself in the mirror and smile, this is the sign of a confident person; keep a cheerful countenance as this attracts others to you. Practice makes perfect.

Overcome habits that are annoying or unacceptable to self and others goes a long way in building your self confidence.

How to gain self confidence and self esteem?

Educate yourself especially in areas where you need to polish your skill sets. Keep in mind that no shortcoming or weakness will remain if you decide to work on it.

Have a personal vision , set realistic goals and focus on winning. Break down your goals into smaller achievable ones. Focus on winning that is the trait of a self-confident person.

Be assertive not aggressive, saying no is not wrong, but say it well and without offense.

Speak slowly and focus on clarity in expression, think and rehearse in you mind before you respond, this will project you as a person with clear thinking.

Be positive, a self confident person always asks why not? So use the ‘why not’ approach in what appears to be a difficult situation.

Don’t give up, persistence brings results and results reinforce self confidence.

View every opportunity as a chance to practice your skills.

Don’t take criticism personally or don’t internalize criticism; take it as a suggestion to improve yourself.

Be thankful for what you have, this helps to develop a positive attitude towards life.

Improve your self confidence and self esteem

Do not shy away from people, join small groups and start conversations, slowly you will feel more confident in a larger group.

Be encouraging towards others, this will make others positive towards you.

Learn to accept compliments gracefully, don’t dismiss them off. Be generous in complimenting others when you see good work.

Never show signs of nervousness when you speak Smile, no matter how you feel, and soon you will be able to actually take things lightly.

Put creative ability to good use and this will enable you to express yourself effectively and grow in confidence.

Never doubt yourself; doubting yourself is like working against you. Over come all self doubts with positive thinking and power affirmations.Remember that self confidence is about having faith in yourself.

Believe in yourself. If you don’t do it, no one ever will.