How to build Self confidence - increase self esteem and self worth
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What is Self-confidence or self esteem?
Self-confidence is the positive attitude about self and our abilities. It enables us to face life with all its surprises and handle them well. Self confidence comes from having control over self, our thoughts and our lives. Self-confidence influences us to plan and achieve our goals despite obstacles, without fear of failure. Even though some of our goals may not have been achieved, we continue to be positive, and look forward to other opportunities as we believe in ourselves. It also influences the way in which others perceive us and react to us.
Self-confidence is related to the word ‘self esteem’ or 'self worth' widely used in psychology. Self-confidence means that one is confident about oneself. The word confidence comes from the word fid which in Latin meaning faith; simply put, it would mean having faith in one’s self, or believing in one’s own ability to accomplish things. Self-confidence is the sum total of our self worth. The way we think and feel about ourselves, our abilities, our achievements, our appearance, our social standing, how we think others view us, all add up to our level of self-confidence.
Qualities of a self confident person
It is easy to recognize a self confident person - they will look right into your eyes, smile, they are easy to be with, they handle conflict, take criticism and negative pressure in their stride, they are emotionally well balanced. The dictionary meaning of the word introduces one more dimension to self-confidence. In addition to belief in yourself and your abilities, it adds ‘does not doubt self’. This is a very important characteristic of self-confidence, a person who does not doubt himself.
Self confidence is an attitude
Self-confidence or self esteem is the product of our perception and interaction with people, our perception of circumstances, of how others view us and how we value or esteem ourselves. This is an attitude which develops pretty early in life and by the time we are in our twenties our basic beliefs and attitudes are fairly set but not always fixed. It may sometimes be colored by gender, social class or major life events like loss of parent/s early on in life etc. It is a learned behavior, learned through experience and interaction with people and situations. Therefore, the good news is that any thing that is learned can be unlearned. This means that lack of self-confidence can be addressed.
Tips to build your self-confidence or self esteem or self worth
Accept and love yourself. It is the first step in developing self-confidence. Unless a person understands his/her strengths and weaknesses and accept him / her for who he / she is, it would be unrealistic to expect others to love them.
Alter your judgment of yourself. Remember no one is perfect.
The greatest invention or discoveries have often come from mistakes. Learn from your mistakes.
Focus on your positives; reaffirm yourself of your strengths. This is called power affirmation or positive affirmations.
Counter negative thinking. This is the most important key to building self confidence.
Grooming and dressing well is very important. Take care of your appearance, others observe this first and form impressions about you.
Carry your self tall and erect, make sure your body language does not speak ill of you.
Look at yourself in the mirror and smile, this is the sign of a confident person; keep a cheerful countenance as this attracts others to you. Practice makes perfect.
Overcome habits that are annoying or unacceptable to self and others goes a long way in building your self confidence.
How to gain self confidence and self esteem?
Educate yourself especially in areas where you need to polish your skill sets. Keep in mind that no short coming or weakness will remain if you decide to work on it.
Have a personal vision , set realistic goals and focus on winning. Break down your goals into smaller achievable ones. Focus on winning that is the trait of a self-confident person.
Be assertive not aggressive, saying no is not wrong, but say it well and without offense.
Speak slowly and focus on clarity in expression, think and rehearse in you mind before you respond, this will project you as a person with clear thinking.
Be positive, a self confident person always asks why not? So use the ‘why not’ approach in what appears to be a difficult situation.
Don’t give up, persistence brings results and results reinforce self confidence.
View every opportunity as a chance to practice your skills.
Don’t take criticism personally or don’t internalize criticism; take it as a suggestion to improve yourself.
Be thankful for what you have, this helps to develop a positive attitude towards life.
- Building self confidence - How to overcome the fear of rejection and low self esteem (part 2)
The fear of rejection is one of the most important causes for the eroding of self confidence. Fear of rejection causes people to be immobilized and prevents them from making something out of their lives. All...
Improve your self confidence and self esteem
Do not shy away from people, join small groups and start conversations, slowly you will feel more confident in a larger group.
Be encouraging towards others, this will make others positive towards you.
Learn to accept compliments gracefully, don’t dismiss them off. Be generous in complimenting others when you see good work.
Never show signs of nervousness when you speak Smile, no matter how you feel, and soon you will be able to actually take things lightly.
Put creative ability to good use and this will enable you to express yourself effectively and grow in confidence.
Never
doubt yourself; doubting yourself is like working against you. Over come all self doubts with positive
thinking and power affirmations.Remember that self confidence is about having faith in yourself.
Believe in yourself. If you don’t do it, no one ever will.
- Be a winner - Impossible is nothing
Being a winner is not impossible. - 16 months ago
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Fear of failure prevents you from taking up responsibilities or doing anything with your life. - 22 months ago
- How to Improve Self Confidence, Self Esteem and Overcome Fear of Rejection (part 2)
Self-confidence is how we perceive ourselves in relation to our situations. - 21 months ago
- How to build Self confidence - increase self esteem and self worth
Building Self-confidence or self-esteem happens by making certain changes in the way we perceive ourselves and others and in the way we react to them. - 21 months ago
- How to break habits Change attitude and form good habits
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- How to develop self discipline and self control
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- Anger management and stress reduction
Learning anger management techniques could help reduce the stress in your life. - 19 months ago
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Truly great advice, sofs. Self-confidence really makes for a happier, healthier life. It's something most of us struggle with to some degree. I certainly have had my experiences with it, but I'm doing my best to challenge my comfort zone and improve my self-concept. This hub is a great reminder to do just that on a daily basis.
I'm especially putting into practice your advice of not shying away from people, being encouraging to others, and putting my creative abilities to good use.
Rated up, useful and awesome!
Thanks for the self-confidence ideas. It is really important that people know self-confidence is a skill that can be learnt. Finding the right strategy for each person is important and yes! persistence brings results. Never give up the search.
Let yourself shine
Rachel Green.
Great article, I will have to use these when I get down.
Enriching and truly motivational...
This is one of the best articles I've read on developing self confidence. I heartily concur with everything you've put forward here.
I offer two more insights into developing confidence
(1) Deliberately seeking to overcome the fear of public speaking (rated as the most common fear, apparently)
(2) Opening oneself up to what some call 'The Giant Within,' that is one's spiritual guidance.
Both instil a great sense of 'worthiness,' along with that self-acceptance.
Very good and information hub about self confidence. Laid out with a format that gives pointers on how to and how not to. Very well written. I enjoyed reading this hub. Thank you for sharing.
I could use this everyday. Nice information will apply.
Fabulous. Thorough. Inspirational advice. As always. The only thing I might add is that once we figure out that God loves us just the way we are, maybe we can find some hidden confidence in ourselves. None of this is easy, but it's SOOOOO worth the effort. Thanks again.
I met you in the forums, then read one of your hubs, then started to read your blogs.
Hey now i am back on hubpages. Your work is very easy to understand. I need to believe in myself far more than i do, I found this hub extremely helpful, voted up, and will be back for more.....
Very difficult subject - you conquered it well! Enjoyed your comments in the forum - love your Hubs! Always canuse a self confidence boost - excellent! Thumbs up!
Nice hub. Very detailed analysis of self-confidence. Thanks for writing.
Great advises! very informative and useful hub! you write very easy world, Well done...rate up up up!
Walk Tall and carry a big stick
A job well done here.
I'll controversially say that self esteem has to come from achievement. The best thing someone can do for themselves isn't to talk themselves into feeling worthy, but to actually do worthy things.
just back for a little reminder.
Everyone can use a reminder of ourselves! Great Hub!
Great write up. I enjoyed how you listed the steps for how to improve self esteem. After I graduate college the field I am going into requires me to have way more self esteem then I do. Low self esteem is something that I have suffered from since high school. Thank you for the tips, great write up!!
rorshak sobchak
A well written and important document. Thanks for sharing
Talking about "Don't shy away from People" is very important because it's a starting point. We need to find acceptance somewhere so by joining small groups and it may take several to find some people to click with but each time it's a little boost to your confidence. Self esteem is a brick by brick process so once we begin to understand the process it's just a matter of following through.
Great advice. I especially understand the tip about setting goals. My problem is that some of my goals have not been achieved and then I feel I have let myself down. I now break my goals up into smaller more achievable and realistic ones. It does make a difference as I do feel much better about myself when I manage to reach a goal. I'm not a very confident person, but there are some wonderful tips here for me to work on.
Great! You have nailed it. I find this post very useful and helpful. Self confidence, self worth, self esteem were concepts that I thought I had enough of until a few years ago going through some challenging times with my career. I realize now how my self concept was erroded by being stressed and putting too much pressure on myself.
Self confidence allows you to ask for help when necessary and it also allow you to accept help.
Thanks for sharing such well thought out and written post.
great article.
From my point of view , to build self confidence, one should take time to write down all the best things that he has in himself, reading them and reminding himself about his uniqueness EVERYDAY. In this way, he will be able to convince his subconcious mind that he is wonderful and this can bring up his self esteem level.
He can decide all the areas that he wanted to improve and take the right action.
I always read some articles about self development to improve myself more.
I think this article might give people more info on how to improve self esteem.
Hi, i like your article. Thank you for highlighting the point and the comment. It is true, building self confidence is indeed a brick upon brick process. I don't believe in self-confidence in seven days. This inside out process, it does take time and effort. I truly appreciate and value your comment:) Thanks.
I haven't come accross this one till now but i am glad that i did. A brilliantly written and very well presented hub.
I am sure that this one will benefit many who read.
I am posting it onto my Facebook page.
Take care and I wish you a wonderful day.
Eddy.
Cool Hub, always good to read that there are genuine people out there that care for others and think outside of the little box we all live in.
Personally i think it always helps making other people feel better about them selfs which in return helps yourself feel better about what you do.
:)
Great hub! Great hubs like this are probably the reason why I'm getting more and more hooked into HubPages. :)
This is a great checklist to use when teaching your own kids - for wouldn't it be great if this thinking was forged into us early?? Thanks for the info!
It gave me Self Confidence. Thanks for this Big tips I really use this tips in my life.Thanks So Much......
supper
Good hub, I love the way you broke down the steps or thoughts into short paragraphs, this made it easier to read, each one being a nugget to eat, Useful suggestions
thanks again, Tony
very much useful, vited up and sharing in social media
Excellent tips sofs, I really enjoyed reading this well written hub. It is very important that be believe in our selves and help others to do so as well. Voted up!









































Paradise7 Level 7 Commenter 21 months ago
Good hub, with some terrific advice. Thanks!